VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — Former member of elite Navy SEAL Team 6 Robert O'Neill has announced the pending release of his debut sex tape in a press conference today. Better known as "The Guy Who Shot Bin Laden," O'Neill has carefully cultivated his media image over the past year to match the unparalleled dedication to selfless service that is a hallmark of the SEALs.

Sources indicate that the film is being released ahead of schedule, after another member of O'Neill's team gained attention recently for allegedly possessing an unsanctioned photograph of Osama bin Laden's corpse.

"After my publicly lauded performance in Abbottabad, multiple book deals, and 'military adviser' status on Fox News, a sex tape is a step in the right direction," O'Neill said at a press conference in the Top Secret SEAL Team Six Team Room.