Entire Military Comes Out Of Closet, Confirms…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking turn of events in light of the Supreme Court striking down parts of the Defense of Marriage Act as unconstitutional, the entire United States military has confirmed they are all gay. "I can't tell you what an unbelievable day this is," said Specialist Jim Ruckers. "Even with Don't Ask, Don't Tell repealed, I wasn't comfortable telling anyone. But after today, I came out, got a boyfriend two hours later and now we're getting married!"

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