General breaks jaw while talking out of both sides of mouth
WASHINGTON – Legislators, members of the press, and hearing attendees were stunned today when a general’s jaw fell apart during testimony in front of the Senate Armed Services Committee after a career of talking out of both sides of his mouth.
The fracture came on the heels of the general saying, “We remain an agile fighting force ready to fight and win the nation’s wars,” moments after remarking that “the force is under-resourced, over-deployed, and suffering from low morale.”
Sources close to the general suggest that this injury is not the result of an isolated moment but rather a career of wear and tear.
“He’s been a people pleaser as long as I have known him,” remarked one former aide-de-camp.
The general was only a few minutes into his prepared remarks when the injury occurred. Among the topics not yet addressed was the recent embarrassment of numerous service members involved in a nude photo phishing scam run by prison inmates.
“It’s actually lucky his jaw fell apart when it did,” re…
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