Geraldo Rivera Divulges Plans for Gen Mattis…

MacDill AFB, Tampa, FL - The servicemembers of Central Command (CENTCOM) were shocked to learn that intiricate plans for a surprise birthday party for General James "Mad Dog" Mattis have been leaked by television journalist Geraldo Rivera. "I wanna know who let the cat outta the bag," said CENTCOM Command Sergeant Major Frank "Kung Fu" Grippe. "This is bullshit. We had a cake planned. And punch. Now it's ruined."

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