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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Saturday, 14 November 2026

Navy & Marines

Marine with extremely low IQ thrilled by switch to Super Intelligence

Marine Corps announces major technological advancement requiring millions of dollars in new signage and PowerPoint slides

Homeless veterans receive 10% off cardboard boxes this Veterans Day

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

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Vol. 15 · No. 136

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Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

14 November 2026

1047 Zulu

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Veterans · Page 2

Meet the Memorial Day patriot stopping people from putting flags on graves of veterans who didn’t die in combat

A self-described “super humble guy,” O’Tool is quick to recount his exploits protecting the dignity of Memorial Day.

Filed · 0810

ARLINGTON NATIONAL CEMETERY, Va. — Although many veterans have taken it upon themselves to educate citizens about the proper observation of Memorial Day, James O’Tool has decided to escalate efforts to counter what he sees as a war on the solemn day of remembrance. While some vets politely shame those who foolishly try to thank living veterans for their service, effectively confusing Memorial Day with Veterans Day, O’Tool set out to stop people from laying flags and wreaths on that day at the graves of any veteran who did not die in combat.

“It’s a travesty,” said O’Tool, who will slap anyone who even thinks of honoring someone in a veterans’ cemetery who didn’t give the ultimate sacrifice. “It’s kind of stolen valor when you think about it. Sure, all the people buried here served in some way. But would it kill you to do a little math with the date of death to guess if the person died heroically or not?”

To this end, each year O’Tool spends the weeks before the Federal Holiday creating a multi-paged color-coded map of Arlington National Cemetery. All the headstones of those who died because of war are colored blue, and those that died a natural death are colored red. Then on the actual holiday, he patrols the cemetery dressed in his traditional THESE COLORS DON’T RUN t-shirt and cowboy boots. One change this year required O’Tool to replace his time-honored Bud Lite baseball cap.

“The only other cap that fits is my Hooter’s hat,” said O’Tool. “I know it’s not perfect, but it’s better than wearing some woke crap on my head.”

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