GREAT LAKES, Ill. — The Naval Education And Training Command (NETC) threw a party celebrating half a million students passing through “A-school” since 9/11 without learning a thing.

“It may not seem like much, but this is hard work,” Commanding Officer Rear Adm. Michael White said, over a big slice of cake. “It is a real challenge to send sailors to A-school for several months and teach them absolutely nothing.”

White continued, “Sailors reporting to their first command are often told to forget everything they learned in A-school. So we decided to streamline the process and not teach them in the first place.”