PETERSON AIR FORCE BASE, Colorado – Regardless of its recent official activation, U.S. Space Command (SPACECOM) operations will not be “go for launch” until the force masters space travel regulations, a super important civilian says. “Fiscal accountability applies in space just like on Earth” said GS-15 Bobby Hall, SPACECOM Resource Management Officer and Defense Travel System (DTS) Level 25 approver, “and SPACECOM is comprised of aviators and aircrews from all the services. Those zipper-suited dumbasses can’t even pull off a simple fuel stop in Scotland without causing a national shit-storm. So all the junior James T. Kirks need extensive DTS training or we'll have a ‘Space-Gate’ scandal bigger than Jupiter.”