THE PENTAGON — The Department of Defense announced this morning that, contrary to popular conception, not every player on the field at the 2019 Army/Navy game would be willing to die for everyone watching according to a six-month, $3 million study. The study asked a variety of questions, including whether military members should all be paid equal to or more than professional athletes and whether there is a correlation between good REM sleep and the availability of rough men to conduct violent action at night on their behalf.
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