ARLINGTON CEMETERY — A soldier standing guard at the Tomb of the Unknowns really wishes that asshole taking photos of him as snow and wind pummel his face would go the fuck away so he could get back inside, sources confirmed today. "Look around. No one is here. I could walk 21 steps inside that door over there and be drinking hot cocoa," said Pfc. Brandon Chelley, a soldier assigned to "The Old Guard" of the 3rd Infantry Regiment. "But no, he just keeps taking snapshots of me getting creamed on by the Almighty."