Ah, battleships: is there anything more majestic than a set of sixteen-inch guns rising up in the air, ready to ejaculate a set of armor-piercing shells deep into whatever target happens to be nearby? There's also speed, armor, maneuverability, and fire control, but we all know it really just comes down to the big guns. From 1880 to 1941 they were the most powerful ships to sail the waves and the pride of every navy.
They sparked an arms race which heavily contributed to the outbreak of World War I. Then in just a few years they vanished, replaced by aircraft carriers and submarines. Follow Duffel Blog as we take a look back on the history of the battleship.
USS Maine (1898)
The USS Maine was America's second commissioned battleship. Ordered in 1886, launched in 1890 and commissioned in 1895, she was both over budget and obsolete by the time she entered service, setting a precedent for every Navy project since.
In 1898 she made her decisive contribution to victory in the Spanish-American War by exploding at anchor in Havana.
Battle of Tsushima (1905)
When war broke out between Japan and Russia in 1904, the Russian Baltic Fleet sailed halfway around the world, more than 18,000 nautical miles to link up with the Russian Pacific Fleet.
Defying all the odds, and with no friendly ports en route, the fleet successfully made the journey to the Pacific in seven months without losing a single ship. Then it was promptly sunk by the Japanese in an afternoon.
Battleship Potemkin (1905)
Although she saw minimal action, the Russian battleship Potemkin is famous for both the unsuccessful 1905 mutiny which partially contributed to the Russian Revolution and its portrayal in the 1925 silent film "The Battleship Potemkin" by Sergei Eisenstein... none of which you've heard of.
HMS Invincible (1916)
The early 20th century saw the development of the "battlecruiser," which had the armament of a battleship but not its protection. Relying solely on speed, it was basically the equivalent of walking up to Tito Ortiz while thinking: "What if I just hit him as hard as I can and then run?"
Here's one of them, HMS Invincible, not living up to her name during the Battle of Jutland. She exploded and sank in just ninety seconds, with the loss of all but six of her crew, including Rear Admiral Horace Hood.
HMS Hood (1941)
How's this for irony? Here's the battlecruiser named for Admiral Hood keeping up the tradition. Still can't tell the difference between a battlecruiser and a battleship?
Neither could the Royal Navy, which deployed her against the battleship Bismarck in 1941, where she promptly exploded and sank in just three minutes with only three survivors.
Battleship Bismarck (1941)
In case the previous picture gave you the impression that battleships were actually effective, here's a depiction of the Bismarck sinking in flames about a week after sinking the Hood.
She was described as a "Nazi Super-Battleship" by executives at the History Channel and World War II-era comic book writers. She is now thought to have been scuttled by her own crew, because... fuck your canoe!