PYONGYANG — In the face of international sanctions that have hobbled its gasoline-fueled mechanized forces, North Korea has been forced to find innovative ways to maintain its military power. Its ground combat force, known as the Korean People's Army, is now being praised for its efforts to re-form horse cavalry as a “green” alternative to traditional tanks.

"We recently learned from intelligence that the 1st Cavalry Division is the most important part of the Yankee army," North Korean Gen. Pak Jong-chon explained. "Given that even the American dotards know that forces that ain't cav, ain't shit, we have determined that renewed efforts to employ cavalry are an optimum way for us to decisively prepare to defeat the Americans and defend the glorious Korean people's revolution."