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- Russia’s Victory Day Parade One Vet, Mean Donkey
Russia’s Victory Day Parade One Vet, Mean Donkey
No wounded guys, doesn't look good
MOSCOW – Encouraged by armed agents of the Federal Security Service, thousands of Russian citizens and the Moscow elite thronged Red Square on May 9 to observe the annual Victory Day Parade, an event commemorating the former Soviet Union’s victory over Nazi Germany. However, Russia’s shockingly high casualties and the depletion of critical weapons and military vehicles resulting from the war in Ukraine forced event planners to adjust the typically grand spectacle of marching troops and military hardware. This year, a single veteran of the nation’s 1979 invasion of Afghanistan and his ancient, ill-tempered donkey highlighted the theme “Not Everyone is Dead.”
Cpl. Alexandr Semenov, 62, who served in Afghanistan from 1987-1989, limped the length of Red Square with a rucksack on his back and a battered AK-47 slung over his shoulder. Semenov’s hands were largely devoted to controlling his counterpart, a donkey named Putin, as it insisted on stopping every few meters along the parade route to kick bystanders.
“Aren’t they astounding?” beamed Minister of Defense Sergei Shoigu. “Abused, downtrodden, but still fighting. They truly represent what is great about our glorious past and future.”
“NOT EVERYONE IS DEAD!” Shoigu shouted enthusiastically, his eyes almost freakishly wide as he pounded the shoulder of the highly decorated man passed out drunk next to him.
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