After Israel attacks Iran, IndoPacom commander starts hiding missiles under bed

“I’m not letting those goddamn CENTCOM punks steal from me again,” said Adm. Samuel Paparo. “Not this time. Not ever.”

HONOLULU — The commander of U.S. Indo-Pacific Command has begun hiding AGM-114 Hellfire missiles, Mk84 Joint Direct Attack Munitions, 20 millimeter Vulcan rounds, HIMARS rockets, and other munitions under his bed in the wake of Israel’s attack on Iranian nuclear facilities, sources confirmed today.