Pete Hegseth thrown onto court at WNBA game
Police officer removes SECDEF using towel and rubber gloves
CHICAGO — The WNBA has surged in popularity thanks to the star power of newcomers like Caitlin Clark and Angel Reese, but it’s also attracted fan-initiated disruptions to games in recent weeks. That was disturbingly clear at an August 9 matchup between the Golden State Valkyries and Chicago Sky when Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth was thrown from the stands onto the court.
“It’s super disrespectful,” said Elizabeth Williams, center for the Chicago Sky. “I don’t really get the point of it. It’s really immature.”
Fans and commentators seemed to agree with Williams, with many speculating that tossing Hegseth, long dogged by allegations of impropriety against women, was meant to belittle the athletes’ accomplishments.
“When you’re flinging [Hegseth] at underpaid female athletes many of whom are openly gay…?” one Reddit user wrote, “Yeah, that checks out.”
This is not the first time the Secretary of Defense has been hurled onto the court at a WNBA game, and some players fear a trend.
“Stop throwing [Hegseth] on the court…” said Sophie Cunningham, guard for the Indiana Fever, “you’re going to hurt one of us.”
At the Friday night game, no one seemed comfortable touching Hegseth after he flopped down the court and came to a rest out of bounds, and several players were visibly repulsed. Finally, an employee threw a towel over Hegseth for modesty, and he was carried away by a police officer wearing rubber gloves, likely to avoid disease.
Despite the uproar, there’s evidence that letting Hegseth fly is a modern-day sports tradition that predates his present office, a ritual without politically fraught undertones, simply meant to incarnate any sentiment best expressed by an airborne Hegseth landing at your enemy’s feet. The Buffalo Bills’ legendary fan “Mafia,” responsible for tossing Hegseth at the New England Patriots during both dispiriting losses and rousing victories, even established de facto rules. For example, they demanded authenticity, warning would-be participants to never use an impersonator, but to “Bring an authentic [Hegseth] to the game.”
Still, others were angry about the media attention paid to Hegseth’s unscheduled appearances.
“The same people who couldn’t bring themselves to criticize Joe Biden are suddenly up in arms about a few pranked lesbians,” said Pentagon spokesman Sean Parnell. “Well allow me to set you straight: he demands the same respect on the WNBA court as he does at the Pentagon.”
Bernard Buttersquash is pretty sure he can’t get recalled to active duty but refuses to google it
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Better than Austin or Milley.