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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 120 · Thursday, 8 October 2026

Pentagon

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Pentagon scrambling to restore slow load times, incomprehensible errors and traditional user experience

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Vol. 15 · No. 120

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 120 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

8 October 2026

1410 Zulu

Next edition Friday

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· Page 2

12th day of Christmas looks like 4th day of Christmas, underway sailor reports

“They say every day is Monday on the ship."

Filed · 1808

NORFOLK, Va. — Petty Officer 1st Class Ted Gladfelter, a gunner’s mate onboard the USS Gerald R. Ford (CVN-78), reports that the 12th Day of Christmas pretty much looks like the 4th day of Christmas while underway.

“On the 4th Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… a handjob in the fan room,” Gladfelter sang to himself while waking up in the same rack, about to eat the same breakfast chow, on another day of the merry holiday season.

“On the 6th Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… a handjob in the fan room.”

Chief Petty Officer Dan Krenshaw, Gladfelter’s immediate supervisor, let Gladfelter know that if the fan room behavior continues, he’ll meet up with “five golden ring-knockers,” what Krenshaw describes as “festive slang for the officers at his captain’s mast.”

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