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1st Sergeant shocked to realize he’s been yelling this whole time

Is this why my wife left me?

By 29ReasonsWhy · Bureau · 1 minute

Filed 30 April 2021 · 0500

TWENTYNINE PALMS, CA — During an interview to discover the source of his unit’s abysmal hearing test scores, Marine 1st Sgt. Jonathan Pizarro realized this morning that he’s been yelling continuously for the past seven years.

“DAMMIT, DEVIL DOG!” he proclaimed when this reporter visibly winced from the sheer volume of his voice. “I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE I WAS BEING SO GOT-DAMN LOUD! I ALWAYS TALK LIKE THIS! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME I’VE BEEN YELLING THIS WHOLE TIME?”

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For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

1st Sergeant shocked to realize he’s been yelling this whole time

Also on this page

Trump announces sale of Patriot missiles to Russia

Hegseth consults God via dumpster fire behind Pentagon

US to livestream execution of Ukraine

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