Skip to content
America's Most-Trusted Military News

Outrage: Army announces officer promotions to be based on merit, performance

| 2 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. - US Army staff officers were stunned today after the announcement from the Chief of Staff that future promotions will be based on merit and performance rather than time in service.

A morning press conference was led by General Ray Odierno, who broke the news and answered questions.

The audience was composed of a select group of Majors and Lieutenant Colonels chosen specifically for the test panel.

“The officer corps has always been a middle-class welfare system. History shows that 95 percent of Captains get promoted to Major and 94 percent of Majors are promoted to Lieutenant Colonel," said a Lieutenant Colonel who wished to remain anonymous. "I’ve kept my nose clean and maintained a very solid mediocre career for 18 years now and only have 2 left. How the hell am I supposed to get a job on the outside?”

More Stories

Know someone who'd find this funny? Send it to them.

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal
WELCOME10 — 10% off applied at checkout

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!