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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 118 · Saturday, 3 October 2026

Navy & Marines

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

Unit leaders say his ability to stick with the mission is unmatched

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

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Vol. 15 · No. 118 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

3 October 2026

1036 Zulu

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· Page 2

Bin Laden's body 'tastes awful', reports barracuda

Filed · 1546

ARABIAN SEA - A yellowtail barracuda deep in the Arabian Sea reported today that Osama bin Laden's body tastes "absolutely awful" and he was having second thoughts about continuing to feed on the terrorist leader.

Bin Laden, the former head of terrorist group al Qaeda, was killed on May 2, 2011 by a team of Navy SEALs. His body was recovered and taken aboard the USS Carl Vinson, and soon after was "buried at sea", according to official reports.

The barracuda, who goes by the name Barry, said that when he initially discovered the body, he was "overjoyed at getting a new treat instead of the usual palate of fish" that he's used to.

"I was swimming around just minding my own business when I saw this weird shaped fish wrapped up in white cloth," said Barry. "Once it settled on the bottom, I realized it was a human body and tried to break through."

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