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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Friday, 25 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

25 September 2026

0005 Zulu

Next edition Monday

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· Page 2

Ghost of chesty puller 'won't shut the fuck up', complains ghost of Dan Daly

Filed · 1546

THE STREETS OF HEAVEN - Trying to sit down for a quiet brew in Tun Tavern, the ghost of Dan Daly complained that once again the ghost of Chesty Puller "doesn't know when to shut the fuck up."

"We're supposed to be guarding the streets up here, and I know our seventh general order is 'talk to no one except in the line of duty,'" said Daly. "But there he goes, running his mouth to every new angel we get up here."

"Hi, I'm Chesty Puller. I won five Navy Crosses," mimicked Daly in a girlish falsetto. "Shit, I've got one of those... right next to my TWO Medals of Honor."

"Blah blah blah, Japanese hordes on Guadalcanal. Blah blah blah, Chinese hordes in Korea," Daly continued, mimicking Puller. "Wow, because I wouldn't know anything about Chinese hordes, like when I was single-handedly killing dozens of them in Peking during the Boxer Rebellion."

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