WEST POINT, NY — Mob violence struck the United States Military Academy at West Point yesterday when a large confrontation between upperclassmen and freshmen, also known as Plebes, resulted in over 60 casualties, many life threatening.

This latest incident follows close behind the tragic events at the United States Air Force Academy, when almost two dozen cadets were injured after freshmen attempted to sexually assault a cadet first sergeant, prompting those attempting to assist in the rape and those opposing forcible sodomy to clash with violent results.

The West Point incident began with a traditional pillow fight between plebes in the North Area, an open space between the multi-story barracks. After a pre-arranged signal, freshmen with nothing better to do on a Friday night rushed into the large courtyard and began to pummel each other over the sounds of AC/DC and the screaming of upperclassmen returning from social privileges, many of whom were visibly intoxicated, goading the combatants into a pillow swinging frenzy.

Although military police are still investigating, they have provided Duffel Blog with a rough timeline of the events that followed: