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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

1550 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

Poll: Joseph Kony currently leads U.S. Presidential race

Filed · 1546

Poster from Joseph Kony's Presidential campaign

WASHINGTON, D.C. - As American voters head to the ballot box to decide the next President, a shocking poll released from Rasmussen indicates that Joseph Kony has a commanding lead over President Obama, Mitt Romney, and TDB-endorsed candidate Chaz Boatright.

Kony, a Ugandan guerrilla army leader, is the Presidential nominee from the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) -- a militant political party that has been accused of war crimes -- including the murder of villagers, abduction of children, and numerous violations of campaign finance law.

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