FT WALTON BEACH, FL - Active-duty Airman 1st Class David H Teague was admitted to White-Wilson Medical Center today after alleged bullying and assault by four 8th-grade students.

Inspired by the heroics of Marine Sgt. Craig Pusley, who he said "looked really badass standing by that flag pole," Teague decided to take matters into his own hands and sit down in a borrowed office chair in front of his alma mater, Max Bruner Junior Middle School.

However, less than an hour after the first bell sounded, Teague's moment of glory turned into a nightmare.

"I took a break after 50 minutes and went to the soda machine," Teague explained. "But when I was counting out change to buy my Code Red [Mountain Dew], someone approached me from behind and slapped my hand from below, and change flew everywhere."