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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Friday, 25 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

25 September 2026

2145 Zulu

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· Page 2

College Chicken-Hawks hold annual conference, vow support for more wars

Filed · 1546

Members use their laptops to take to Twitter and Facebook in support of more wars for other people to fight.

MADISON,WI – Hundreds of college students, representing more than ninety universities, recently converged on Madison to hold their eleventh annual Benevolent Institute of The Chicken-Hawk conference. The organization is seeing its highest turnout in its decade of existence.

As wars in Afghanistan and Iraq have wound down, the organization worries that there "won't be any more foreign wars to fight."

The popular campus group was founded in 2002 by Reed Vanderbilt, then an undergraduate at the University of Tennessee. It has since spread to over one hundred colleges across the country. The group’s motto, “We make the war, they do the chore,” represents their mission of breeding the future smoke-filled backroom shot-callers of America. It boasts an honorary national board composed of a virtual Who's Who of defense industry executives and politicians. Former Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney is the Honorary Chairman, and was scheduled to speak.

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