This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Sailor only at strip club to keep liberty buddy safe
GUAM – Sources confirm that Quartermaster First Class Joshua Griffin is only at the popular Guam strip club, Vikings, to look out for the well-being of his liberty buddy, Gunner's Mate Second Class Scott Nichols.
“I really hate places like this,” said the upright young man, failing to make eye contact with reporters. “I try to be a good shipmate, though, you know? I try not to judge."
Griffin, 25, is renowned aboard the carrier USS Ronald Reagan as a sterling sailor both in and out of port. Said a previous liberty buddy after a port call in Singapore, “That dude will go fucking anywhere.”
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Pentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks given
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Opinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formation
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Army Reserve adopts 'Nothing we do today is more important than lunch' as new recruiting slogan
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