FORT BENNING, GA – As part of the Army’s efforts to expand its tactics, techniques and procedures for effectively combating and containing an outbreak of the undead, the Army Training and Doctrine Command has published a new field manual: FM 3-21.81, “The Infantry Rifle Platoon and Squad: Employment in a Zombie-Apocalypse Scenario.”

The field manual covers battle drills that will be familiar to many infantrymen, but with a slight twist. When fighting against hordes of undead opponents, according to current doctrine, there needs to be greater implementation of hand-held melee weapons instead of rifle fire.

“We looked at our existing techniques, tactics, and procedures and realized that when the zombie apocalypse comes, our current way of doing things wasn’t going to be good enough,” said Gen. Robert Cone, TRADOC commanding general. “So we went back to the drawing board and re-evaluated everything from the ground up – so to speak – and we kept what worked and got rid of what didn’t.”