WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a daring pre-dawn raid on a bomb-making factory in Yemen early Friday, President Barack Obama announced to the world that Warren Terror had finally been captured.
"After I learned of solid intelligence, and I learned of this terror mastermind, I discussed the possibility of conducting a raid with my national security team," Obama said in a speech from the White House. "After I carefully deliberated, I then consulted a Magic 8-Ball to ask whether this was a good decision. I then authorized members of the U.S. Navy SEALs to capture or kill Warren Terror. I am proud to report that he is now in custody."
