AIR FORCE ACADEMY, CO – “Oh-em-gee, I cannot wait to choke a bitch!” Cadet Lori Snow squealed as she clutched a copy of the new video game release Grand Theft Auto V. She’d received the game for free as part of developer Rockstar Games’ Salute the Troops giveaway.

“It’s always been my dream to get inside the head of a sociopath who treats women like objects to be manipulated, marginalized or owned. It’s like they made this game just for me!”

“We’re glad to hear that Lori loves the game," said James Mitchell, a spokesman for Rockstar Games. "Our team worked hard to make the misogynistic experience as immersive as possible. The game’s developers spent countless hours of loving detail on every stripper, prostitute, bystander, crime victim and love interest that make up the game’s entire female population. We put our hearts and souls into that code.”