INDIANAPOLIS, IN – Pentagon and NCAA sources have confirmed that military action against Bashar Al-Assad’s regime in Syria will be delayed until after the completion of the 2014 college football season.

The NCAA, which has long been criticized for the enforcement of its archaic code for student athletes, is now taking an active role in world politics. Through a freedom of information act request, Duffel Blog was able to obtain NSA wiretap records between NCAA President Mark Emmert and Senators from at least 11 different states, to include Alabama, Ohio, Oregon, California, South Carolina, Texas, Florida, and Louisiana.

Many of these states, coincidentally, have football teams expected to compete for the college football national championship.

In one conversation between Emmert and Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.), the NCAA strategy becomes clear. “Alabama is in the SEC, we know you’re dirty,” said Emmert, “and unless you want our enforcement division poking around y’alls program, you better find a way to delay the war until after the season.”