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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Saturday, 14 November 2026

Navy & Marines

Marine with extremely low IQ thrilled by switch to Super Intelligence

Marine Corps announces major technological advancement requiring millions of dollars in new signage and PowerPoint slides

Homeless veterans receive 10% off cardboard boxes this Veterans Day

Hegseth asks staff to make next execution more like ‘The Running Man’

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Vol. 15 · No. 136

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Vol. 15 · No. 136 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

14 November 2026

1526 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
Intel · Page 2

CIA admits: Edward Snowden was top assassin

Filed · 1542

Photo by Random Institute / Unsplash

LANGLEY, Va. — In response to Edward Snowden's assertion that he was a spy for the U.S. government, the CIA has not only confirmed it, but added that Snowden was one of their top assassins.

CIA Director John Brennan made the revelation as part of a larger program by the U.S. government to declassify and release all the e-mails sent by Snowden during his time as a government technician and highly-trained killer.

"Snowden was our most lethal operative," Brennan told reporters. "Sure by day he just pretended to be an inept and pretentious systems administrator but at night Snowden, or 'Agent Qwerty' as he was known in the department, was part of our covert MD-5 program."

According to Brennan, Snowden was secretly recruited by the CIA in 2004, straight out of his National Guard basic training where he had enlisted as a Special Forces recruit.

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