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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Wednesday, 30 September 2026

Army

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

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Vol. 15 · No. 117

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Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

30 September 2026

0417 Zulu

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← Front page
OpFor · Page 2

Gamer who joined ISIS has terrible kill-to-death ratio

Filed · 1540

KOBANI, Syria — Hector Bazinet, a Belgian citizen and self-described "gaming fanatic" who left home to join the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) earlier this year currently has an abysmal kill-to-death ratio, Duffel Blog has learned.

"It's time to put my years of training and experience to good use," Bazinet wrote on his Facebook page before leaving home. "The infidels are about to get fucking rekt."

Two months ago, Bazinet crossed the Turkish border into Iraq and met with his ISIL handler who issued him a real AK-47 which sources confirmed was "very loud and hurt his shoulder." Bazinet was then sent to Syria to take part in sustained fighting against pro-government forces entrenched in the city of Kobani. During his time in the city, the young fighter killed zero people — and having been in the immediate vicinity of a Hellfire missile strike which atomized every cell in his body — now has a death count of one.

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