BRYAN, Texas — Highly decorated military veteran Douglas Martin got the shock of a lifetime Sunday when his son, Lance Cpl. Shane Martin, came out of the closet as a POG. Lance Cpl. Martin, currently based out of Camp Pendleton, California, took leave to share the news in person.

"My dad thought I was a machine gunner with 3rd Battalion 1st Marines, but I finally told him the truth. I'm a Bulk Fuel Specialist in 1st MHG, and I'm proud."

"I just thought he was just going to tell me he was gay. He would have had my full support. I'm not a monster. But POG? That lifestyle's just not natural for this family," said Douglas Martin, who fought with 1st Battalion, 9th Marines in Vietnam.

"I killed a man with a canteen once. And my own father sure as hell didn't leave an arm in the jungles of Bougainville so his grandson could twiddle his vagina-flaps and pump petroleum. I bought him a toy gas pump for his bicycles when he was a kid. Maybe that's where it went wrong."