WESTLAND, Mich. — The members of Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) Post 3323 concluded a ground-breaking analysis at approximately 2 a.m. Saturday morning regarding the number of "freedom-hating, pinko-commie fuckfaces" mowed down in the name of liberty, Duffel Blog has learned.
The study, which VFW leadership calls a "balanced and objective report" leaving the clubhouse of the quaint, suburban post in Southeastern Michigan in fiery ruins, puts the number of U.S. enemy dead at approximately 15 billion.
Grace Melton, bartender and de facto leader of the expert panel, told VFW Magazine how she performed the remarkable feat, utilizing her unique skill-set managing temperamental and egocentric veterans to gain valuable insight into the last 225 years of conflicts.
"It all started when four of our regulars were bellied up for the day," Melton said in her interview. "Ted Szymanski launched into his fortnightly Budweiser-induced 15 minute flashback of killing 467 VC with 'nothing but a got-damned P38 can opener.' It kind of took on a life of its own from there."
