For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing

4,200+dispatches filed

17,000+readers briefed

· Page 2

Lieutenant assumes Warrant officer must be at work if his hat's here

By Duffel Blog Staff · Bureau · 1 minute

Filed 5 October 2022 · 1539

FORT DRUM, NEW YORK — Army Lt. James Whetmore of 2nd Battalion, 10th Combat Aviation Brigade is certain Chief Warrant Officer 3 Donny Johnson must be present for duty today.

"I haven't seen Johnson today, but he must be hard at work doing something," said Whetmore this morning. "I mean, it's 1000 and his hat's on his desk, so he must be somewhere in the hangar. I know I told him to finish up that sensitive items inventory, so he must be doing that."

Also on this page

Veterans

Spirit Halloween store to become pop-up ICE detention center

DHS praises seasonal retailer's expertise in occupying abandoned buildings and disappearing overnight

Army

Army FRG unveils haunted house featuring spouses saying ‘I’m fine’

Soldiers describe Halloween attraction as more frightening than combat deployment

Army

Hasan execution venue double-booked with Comic-Con

Army officials insist neither event can be rescheduled without losing deposit