This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Can of dip miraculously lasts eight days in the field
FORT DRUM, N.Y. — A battered can of Copenhagen dip lasted eight whole days in the field with the 10th Mountain Division, Army sources confirm. This miracle occurred during a field exercise with the 2-87 Catamount Battalion.
Battalion leadership conducted a last-minute shakedown before heading out to the field, defiling tobacco stockpiles in accordance with a new morale-crushing policy just before jump off.
“Tobacco kills my soldiers,” Sgt. Maj. James Burton explained. “So do toxic marriages and traumatic brain injuries, but we can’t ban tits and IEDs now can we?”
More Stories
Staff command works hard to accomplish nothing
Red Friday
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Pentagon unveils ‘Send Someone Else’ campaign for Iran war supporters
Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
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Trump strikes deal to buy precision missiles from North Korea
Duffel Blog Staff
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Air Force IG uncovers SNACKOs taking kickbacks from Big Insulin
R.J. Williams
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Pentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks given
Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
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Opinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formation
Bull Winkle
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