This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Rogue shirt stay kills Marine
MCRD PARRIS ISLAND, S.C. – A Marine was killed when his shirt stay unexpectedly detached from his sock and struck him in the right testicle with the full force of Hooke’s law, sources confirmed today.
Staff Sgt. Jeremy Yates, 29, died while instilling a young Marine recruit with “some goddamn intestinal fortitude,” witnesses reported, adding that at the moment of impact, Yates grunted, eyes bulging, and sank to his knees gasping, “My God, why have you forsaken me?”
According to NCIS archives, shirt stay attacks are not unprecedented, although most incidents merely strike the fleshy part on the inner thigh or the cusp of the buttocks, leaving the victims in a state of shock, but alive and intact.
More Stories
Trump strikes deal to buy precision missiles from North Korea
Duffel Blog Staff
|
Air Force IG uncovers SNACKOs taking kickbacks from Big Insulin
R.J. Williams
|
Pentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks given
Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
|
Opinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formation
Bull Winkle
|
Army Reserve adopts 'Nothing we do today is more important than lunch' as new recruiting slogan
SECDEF_Nice
|
Hegseth mistakes getting older for declining military standards
SECDEF_Nice
|
Duffel Labs
A field desk of military mischief and useful bad ideas
Pentagon Buzzword Generator
Generate authentic defense jargon.
Pocket NCO
Leadership advice with a knife hand.
Navy SEAL Book Generator
One click. Instant airport bestseller.
DD-214 Fortune Teller
Your civilian future, declassified.
Military Speech Builder
Remarks for ceremonies and mandatory fun.
Veteran Benefits Finder
Find benefits you might have missed.
View all Labs tools →
