Skip to content
DUFFEL BLOG

Free military brief. No CAC required.

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast
Subscribe form

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing
4,200+dispatches filed
17,000+readers briefed

The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

Three editions a week, paid for by our subscribers

Vol. 15 · No. 115

Worldwide edition

Reader supported

Delivered 3× weekly

America's most trusted military news source

Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

0916 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

Citizen soldier shams at both

Filed · 1535

BROKEN ARROW, Okla. – Army National Guard Sgt. Terrance McMahan has underwhelmed superiors and subordinates alike with his consistent shamming in both his full-time job as a refrigerator mechanic for Holsum Foods and National Guard assignment as a light-wheeled vehicle mechanic with the 45th Infantry Brigade Combat Team, sources confirmed today.

“Terrance is always ready, always there, but that’s about it,” said Staff Sgt. Roy Aubrey, his platoon sergeant. “I’ve seen him checked out at work, checked out at drill, and even checked out on deployment.”

“In fact,” added Aubrey, “I’ve even seen him half-assing it in the community during natural disaster call-ups. He’s the only one who calls responding to disastrous prairie fires 'bullshit state active duty.'"

Also on this page

Your Cart

Your cart is empty

Browse the shop to find something you like.

Continue Shopping →
Subtotal

Add more for free shipping.

✓ You qualify for free shipping!