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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Wednesday, 30 September 2026

Army

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

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Vol. 15 · No. 117

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

30 September 2026

2243 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
· Page 2

ISIS commander tells suicide bombers: 'Remember, you're an ambassador for our nation'

Filed · 1535

The following is a brief given by the motivated Mullah Al Habib to new ISIS insurgents before they leave for Europe.

Okay, listen up men! Today is the first day of a brand new assignment, and I know you're excited to get out there and serve your country, but we need to go over your foreign duty station brief first.

I know, I know. I can practically see your eyes glazing over already.

But believe me, as soon as you set foot out there, you're gonna have a gigantic target painted on your back.

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