PYONGYANG — In a breakthrough negotiation amid escalating tensions on the Korean peninsula, North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has agreed to trade away all his nuclear weapons in exchange for a single Krispy Kreme franchise, sources confirmed today.
“I’m super proud of Ambassador Hailey for negotiating such a big, big deal,” President Donald Trump said. “I thought I was going to have to bomb the shit out of ‘em.”
Pundits had long speculated on what could get Kim Jong-un to give up his nuclear weapons. Many experts had recommended tougher sanctions, or trying to persuade China to become more involved, though none seemed to change Pyongyang's behavior.
