FORT BELVOIR, Va. — With the arrival of three new and awkwardly worded passive-aggressive signs, Graves Fitness Center Manager Lou Austin believes he is one sign away from having a well-regulated gym.
“Most of the guys I see come in here are pressed for time and just want to get a workout in and get on with their day,” said Austin. “I just try to help them with that by reminding them to be courteous, professional and germaphobic.”
Austin’s most recent genre-defying breakthrough was to remove the sign he had written that said “no boots on cardio machines” with individual signs on each piece of equipment as boot friendly or not boot friendly. This was followed by labeling which equipment could be used to hang an ACU blouse, before deciding to change the policy to outlaw ACU blouses altogether.