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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Friday, 25 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

25 September 2026

1435 Zulu

Next edition Monday

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· Page 2

Soldier avenges 9/11 by giving 100-dollar bills to corrupt Afghan contractor

Filed · 1534

KABUL, Afghanistan — Sixteen years after Sept. 11, 2001, a soldier deployed to Afghanistan is avenging the devastating terrorist attacks of that day by handing out 100-dollar bills to corrupt contractors in his area of responsibility, sources confirmed today.

"It's a really somber day here to reflect," said Sgt. 1st Class Stephen Baker. "But we just need to remember that we are doing our part to take down these terrorist networks so they can't do anything like that to us again, by handing out millions of dollars that will end up in the hands of the Taliban."

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