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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Monday, 5 October 2026

Navy & Marines

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Financial counselors unable to determine where approximately 10 months of pay went

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

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Vol. 15 · No. 119

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

5 October 2026

1954 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

← Front page
· Page 2

Weirdo waits until after watch to masturbate

Filed · 1534

MANAMA, Bahrain — A sailor onboard the USS Truxton acted like a total weirdo by waiting until after watch to masturbate, sources confirmed today.

Operational Specialist 3rd Class Jack Winter finished standing topside rover at 2 a.m., turned in his firearms, and then masturbated in the berthing head.

His actions went against thousands of years of military and naval traditions, according to a senior defense official.

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