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F-35 revealed to be horror movie M. Night Shyamalan has been working on for years

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WILLISTOWN, Penn. — In perhaps the most daring plot twist of his career, film director M. Night Shyamalan has revealed that the entire trillion dollar F-35 program is a horror movie he has been working on for the past decade, sources confirmed today.

“I really wanted to explore the depths of the military-industrial complex and the human psyche in an age of uncertainty,” said Shyamalan. “That, and I was pretty damn high when I wrote it.”

While critics have panned many of his recent films, most are now saying that his latest project, while “not quite as good as The Sixth Sense,” might be better than sci-fi thriller Signs.

“Remarkable. A tour de force,” hailed Richard Roeper of the Chicago Sun-Times. “The plot was crafted so meticulously that he fooled an entire defense industry into thinking that the plane would actually work.”

Even those in the military community were relieved, with many praising the ending as “the greatest moment in film since the volleyball scene in Top Gun.”

“Only an artist of Night’s caliber could have incorporated so many intriguing plot twists,” said Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Joseph Dunford. “Cost overruns, performance issues, parts being made in China, schematics getting hacked. Five stars.”

While Shyamalan has served as a deus ex machina for the F-35 program, he says the film is merely a foreshadowing of bigger things to come.

“Spoiler alert: I made Iraq and Afghanistan, too,” he added. “And I was totally on acid when I wrote the ending.”

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