THE WHITE HOUSE — President Donald Trump will replace a brilliant military strategist currently serving as his national security adviser with a strange old dude who likes to wear a creepy mustache, sources confirmed today.

In a presidential announcement on Twitter, Trump said he would remove Lt. Gen. H.R. McMaster from his role in favor of John Bolton, a former Ambassador to the United Nations and fill-in manager at Denny's in Alexandria, Va.

"I am very thankful for the service of General H.R. McMaster who has done an outstanding job & will always remain my friend. There will be an official contact handover on 4/9," Trump wrote in a tweet of McMaster, who will always remain the president's friend until 4/10.