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ISIS recruit stuffs goat into amnesty box

MAYADEEN, Syria — ISIS recruit Abdul Mourad stuffed a live goat into an amnesty box early yesterday morning, sources familiar with the incident say.

The young goat could be heard baying by men who slept in sweaty tents near the desert in Eastern Syria.

“Good lord, someone’s going to town on that thing,” someone murmured, rolling over, hoping to catch a few minutes more sleep before another day of intensive training began.

ISIS training is notoriously rigorous and entrants are expected to disavow “earthly” pleasures, including those associated with the idyllic farmyard. In recent months, ISIS senior command has complained about lax discipline and, according to sources familiar with the matter, a scarcity of prime breeding goats for themselves.

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