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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Thursday, 1 October 2026

Army

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

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Vol. 15 · No. 117

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Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

1 October 2026

1643 Zulu

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← Front page
· Page 2

Trump denies Russia hacking while Putin types furiously on laptop during press conference

Filed · 1532

HELSINKI, Finland — President Donald Trump once again denied Russia was responsible for any kind of hacking during the 2016 election as Russian President Vladimir Putin was seen furiously typing on a laptop during a joint press conference, sources confirmed today.

"President Putin says it's not Russia. I don't see any reason why it would be," Trump said before looking over at Putin, who was in the middle of composing an email to the head of Russia's military intelligence agency (GRU).

"LOL," the message read, according to sources familiar with the matter in Units 26165 and 74455.

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