MUSHROOM KINGDOM – King Bowser plans to withdraw his airship fleet from World 7 after plumbers Mario and Luigi delivered the koopa king numerous setbacks, sources confirmed today.

“We’ve won victory after victory, from Bob-omb battlefield to the Donut Plains, all the way to Yoshi’s Island. This war has been going on since 1985, and it’s time to bring our brave koopa-troopas home,” Bowser said in a press statement aboard his flying clown car, a massive “Mission Accomplished” banner unfurled behind him.

Despite Bowser’s statements, his top generals insist that they were never consulted on the exit strategy.