We’ve all been there — standing around formation, smoking, joking, putting your hands in your pockets, not realizing that you’re about to get called for urinalysis. Should you have gone to get a wax last night instead of playing video games and drinking Monster? Probably, but now you’re going to have to show off that bush to most of your command team. Unless ...

Here are five easy tips from Duffel Blog to skip urinalysis until you can get a high and tight for your low and loose.

1. Find the barracks aesthetician:

Every unit’s got ‘em — the guy or gal that probably shouldn’t be offering European waxes or Brazilian sugaring from their barracks room, but it’s quick and saves the day. If you’re lucky, the barracks aesthetician is also on the piss list, and can knock out a quick strip before you’re done chugging Gatorade. You can probably get a quickie tattoo with SkilCraft ink at the same time. Just don’t expect a warm towel when you’re done.