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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Wednesday, 30 September 2026

Army

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

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Vol. 15 · No. 117

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

30 September 2026

1858 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
Intel · Page 2

Agent Penis reassigned after CIA intruder blows his cover

Filed · 1552

LANGLEY — Central Intelligence Agent Richard Penis has been reassigned to administrative duty after a woman compromised his secret identity by trespassing on CIA headquarters and requesting to speak with him, sources confirmed today.

The woman, who demanded that Agent Penis return her ID, claims to have been unaware that she was blowing Penis’s cover.

Agent Penis’s supervisor, Harold Balzac, lamented losing such a talented young agent in the field.

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