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Pornhub opens first SIPR website

MONTREAL, Canada — U.S. troops stationed abroad now have 24-hour access to the latest hardcore pornography from back home, thanks to a deal that allows adult website Pornhub to host explicit material on the military's secret classified networks, sources confirmed today.

MindGeek, the Canadian company which owns Pornhub, signed the deal nicknamed "OPSUCK" with the Department of Defense.

Sources say the Pentagon's decision follows years of pent-up frustration by U.S. troops stuck on bases in the Middle East sharing pornography at least a decade old and stained with the fluids of countless heroes.

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