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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Sunday, 27 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Sunday

27 September 2026

1000 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

Lesbians, lance corporals compete for shortest engagements

Filed · 1552

WASHINGTON—According to a study released this week by the Partnership for Marriage, lesbians are in tough competition with Lance Corporals for the nation’s shortest engagements.

“We were surprised how quickly lesbian couples could go from meeting each other to marriage,” said Nancy Elder, a spokeswoman for the group. “But when we started researching Lance Corporals we found they had similar dating and marriage patterns.”

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